a little over 3 weeks ago i arrived in san francisco to attend john friend’s immersion part 1. all in all i haven’t had the chance to work a lot with him, but from the few times i did, this time right from the very beginning, through his very first words i could sense something was different. maybe different about me (probably), but there was definitely a shift in intensity. not that john has ever been not intense, but even so the energy felt highly condensed. as if time had compressed itself into a vacuum of intuitive momentum. the air was thick and delicately thin at the same time. it feels like he is calling his troops together to prepare for an eminent shift. with every teaching implanting trust and offering an invitation to surrender to the present moment. he has the incredible capability to really see everybody present and to make everyone feel seen. that alone softens my shell and core.
he keeps asking for our passion. time and world are shifting to the next level. here my heart starts singing hearing the words she (my heart) has been putting in my mouth for some time now. we got to be fully present to feel the passion burning in order to make the shift. burning? well, i’m on fire. my heart and soul are vibrating in a dance that now i understand to be the loving merging of Shiva and Shakti. shiva is the power, a centered feeling, nature’s very rhythm and shakti is our individual expression that shines forth in each of us. the moment inbetween, the twilight, that is when they become one. that’s when change manifests.
with my every breath my inner body expanded, my outer body softened and it seemed as if the air itself converged into a sweet jingly sound. every teaching felt like the first i’d ever heard. did i ever understand the principles before? the spirals, the loops??? did i ever practice this art called yoga before? i mean have i ever practiced with a feeling of oneness and unbound possibilities that filled my being with such tremendous love and support? i think not. but i also think this is exactly the gift yoga has to offer and where it turns into an art form. it is the very moment when we stop to practice yoga and the yoga practices us. that is when spirit creates through and with us. that’s how i felt during every moment of the immersion.
it is the first time since 3 years that my body melted and let me dive deeper into it. 3 years ago my lower back suffered an herniated disk situation. classic. immobile for more than 3 months, not even able to bend my neck forward, to lift my knee i had to lean against a wall grap my pants and lift it up with help of my hands. although i knew in my heart i would overcome this major block, somewhere inside a wall of fear arranged itself into a diffusing structure and frequently shot pain and limitations at me. alleviation came only in little tiny steps. in the end i see it as a blessing, as it taught me more than anything else ever did in my life.
Now, here and in this time in space my body started bending into forms the way it hadn’t been able in such a long time. the poses felt like physical prayers of my soul. the isness of my consciousness splashed in baths of bliss…satchidananda…this was my personal moment of shri, of divine beauty. or as john says; shri is lustrous beauty that turns your mind to the divine.
after san francisco and a week in mexico i flew to los angeles to meet old beloved teachers/friends and to study with others i always wanted to meet, like tony. in yesterday’s class i found myself playing the edge of my heart and body with joy, enthusiasm. we do backbend after backbend and apex it with backbend drops again and again. I hug in and expand out in a constant dance and all of a sudden i have an awakening as my heart bursts open and tears run down my face. i know yoga is not about how much of a pretzel you can yourself twist into, but through releasing in favor of a tremendous readyness and following the beloved teachings without self-consciousness i suddenly re-do things that simply haven’t been accessible in some time. grace is flowing in abundance as are tears.
now it’s the eve before johns advanced intensive. we all received an email yesterday morning and in class there was a lot of talk about his message. how he wants to create the environment of a mandir devi, like a temple in silence and meditation. an eye of the tiger attitude. my first reaction is, wow thats intense…. well, hellooo, thats why it is called an intensive…john will be welcoming every student individually with a question. we are talking about 200 students.
as i said the energy feels more and more condensed and just today i read an article on how the earthquake in chile most likely shifted the axis of our earth. scientific proof of the evident. the world is shifting, so lets align ourselves with nature and the flow of energy. alike the tiger we center all our attention to the core ready to move and adjust in the perfect moment.
dancing like shiva and shakti.